The Hours Between Us

A few short hours. The only difference between your child and mine is just a few hours. Your child had oxygen and Tennyson did not. When Tennyson was born the nurses told us a few hours more and she wouldn't have made it. I remember thinking a few hours earlier and we wouldn't be in this situation.

I was taken back to this realization last week while having dinner with a dear friend. She told me of a mother who carried her baby for 38 weeks. She gave birth to a sleeping baby. While she was telling me the story, I kept thinking how heartbreaking it would be to go through that experience. It reminded me of when Tennyson was born.

I was only a few hours away from that being our story. I was a few hours from never knowing this miracle who is our daughter. Hours from never being able to watch her grow up. 

I'm sure the mother from the sad story would give anything to look into her little baby's eyes. I'm sure she would rather have her baby here in her arms. Even if it meant rocking her in the NICU; even if it meant hearing difficult news from doctors everyday; and even if it meant her baby would be different than she imagined.  

That's how I feel. For every sleepless night we have, I'm thankful I get to soothe her back to sleep. For every doctor appointment, therapy visit, brace fitting, prescription pick-up, or insurance battle we go through day in and day out, I am thankful I have Tennyson here. I would rather go through hard days with her than have any day without her.

I'll admit our journey has been different than we imagined. However, I bet you too would travel this road, if it were your child. If it came down to your child not being here with you on earth or having a different journey than you expected - I'm betting you would choose different over death.

I remember while I was pregnant I always said, "as long as the baby is healthy...". I've realized that health is in God's hands and my baby's happiness is in my hands.

I don't care what other people think about my child. I don't care if others thank God they don't have our life. I thank God everyday for this life. I thank God everyday for saving Tennyson. I thank Him for allowing us to know this beautiful little girl here on earth, rather than having to wait to meet her in Heaven.

You and I are not so different. Should you ever find yourself on a similar path, separated only by hours from the path you thought you would be on, I promise you your perception of perfection will change in a {heartbeat}.  

e-mail me at tennsense@gmail.com

Amy